Adversity

A quote caught my eye recently, again. I have seen and heard this little message time and again but for some reason it touched my heart in a special way recently.

"It is your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself, that determines how your life's story will develop." ~Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Maybe it is because my heart has been softened for victims of the heartless shootings at a movie theater in Colorado. So much pain and hurt. So much grief. They probably won't ever have answers to their questions, they'll never learn why. They must pick up their shattered lives and move on beyond this heartache though. It is what's needed. It is what's expected.

Somehow, we...as a nation, as a society, expect others to have their time for pain and grief but then move on, not remain a victim. Rise above whatever challenge has been faced. Overcome and achieve.

Perhaps that is how I feel, too. Perhaps that is how I have been able to move on, go beyond adversity. Let go of the pain and grief.

Many, many times I have thought about writing of my life experiences. Many, many times I've tabled the notion. Too many people, people who don't know me well, people who know me very well, and people who are nearest and dearest to me would have a tough time with some of the things I would write. If I were writing a life story. At least one of my children has asked me to do that on several occasions. He feels separated, isolated somehow from my life...beyond the days of being his mom. He has inquired about childhood, "I know nothing about your life as a child."

Is it enough to simply say, "Things were tough"?

I don't know.

One thing I do know, my reaction to adversity has brought forth a world of change in my life, in living. I have learned to express gratitude and appreciation more freely, to people and especially to my Heavenly Father. I have learned to carry a prayer in my heart, at all times, in all places. To pray for help and guidance, to pray in thanks and joy. I have learned over the years - not an easy one - that I am special, I have purpose and being, that I am also "not so special" ...that I am so very much like so many others.

I am happy today with the person I am. I love my life. I love my husband and children. My grandchildren mean the world to me. They each hold a precious piece of my life and heart. Adversity has played an integral part of the person I have become. I am me. Complete...but not perfect.

Difficult Days

After breaking my arm on 2/15 I had surgery to set the bones and secure them with rods on Wednesday 2/22. It has now been four days since having this latest procedure done and the pain has been, at times, unbearable.

I have not been able to use my hand or any portion of my arm. I have managed to identify a couple of propped positions where my limb is comfortable for short periods of time. Nothing is comfy for more than a couple minutes. I am indulging in pain medicine far too often for my own peace of mind. I've tried alternating with acetaminophen or ibuprofen and the far more potent oxycodone prescription pain reliever without success. The non-prescription meds don't phase the pain in the slightest. It is a catch 22 with not wanting to rely on these meds yet needing them to get through the day or night.

It is my prayer that these hardships will quickly become faded memories and my arm will regain strength and purpose without the pain.

Update on Millie

Millie is out of Intensive Care this morning, she was moved to a regular room late last night. She had an MRI yesterday but they don't have any feedback on that procedure just yet. Millie is recovering ability to talk and has been able, with assistance, to sit-up at the side of her bed.

Toledo Hospital
Millie Cole, Rm 1935
2142 N. Cove Blvd.
Toledo OH 43606

That is the address where cards and notes can be sent. I know Millie would appreciate receiving well-wishes and greetings. She is making progress and she has been comforted in the knowledge so many are praying for her and her family during these difficult days.