My youngest sister, Kim, shown in this picture from eons ago when visiting Arizona with my mom, has always battled this internal struggle of self-worth and an overwhelming dependency on others. Kim's mother died when she was just a little girl. She is my dad's daughter. She is my sister. She was raised by my mother.In recent months Kim has been in frequent contact with me. That has caused some conflicts for me - not because I didn't want to do anything in my power to help Kim remain strong as she tried to once again break from her demons and take care of herself. The conflicts are rooted in not being able to tell another sister - or anyone at all in our family - about these
communications. Kim has burned so many bridges. She has hurt so many people, broken so many hearts. Especially the hearts of her two sweet little girls who are in the care and custody of our sister. She has broken their hearts so many times. I've not been able to tell anyone about these communications. That's made it hard because it has affected how often Zena and I talk - I don't like having kept this from her but she would have been quite upset to know that I was in daily, or even more frequent, contact with Kim.Kim has become close friends with a young woman named Moe, Martha E. Jackson, a woman working hard to stay afloat with her own struggles, and I've gotten to know Moe and grown close to her through phone conversations. Kim and Moe worked waiting tables at the same restaurant in Dryden, Virginia. Moe has been a really good friend to Kim and she was the one to call me when Kim was hospitalized back on November 30th. Kim was terribly sick and couldn't keep anything down. Her abdomen was extremely sensitive. She was in a lot of pain. Moe fretted over her and worried about her. Moe called me often to keep me posted of Kim's condition. She worked double shifts with just short breaks between so Kim's hours would be covered at work. We were all pleased when Kim was released from the hospital on December 4th - undiagnosed :( - and was able to return to work the next day.
This is a new day. This morning Moe called me, she is heartbroken. Kim drove her to work this morning and apparently she returned home to pack up her things and leave out for Toledo ... returning to the man who has abused her in horrific ways, beaten her horribly, fed her drugs to keep her unstable and dependent. She left all she was building to return to him and that horrid life. Moe is devastated. My heart breaks for her and also for the day when her two little ones, who have known their mom was gone and making a new life to someday be reunited with them, learn she has returned to that life. I love you, Kim but I hate the pain you inflict on yourself and others. My heart breaks for the pain I know Kalee and Britenee will endure. I love you little ones .... know always you are not alone.
