This is such a nightmare! It has been going on for months, at a time when Mike and I certainly didn't need any additional stress in our lives. My heart is being torn apart and there is nothing I can say or do to resolve things, but I pay the price for what others have said and done. I am caught in the middle and I hurt so very, very much.
During all these weeks, months in fact, that Mike has been enduring these medical trials and I have done all I could to keep both of us going in the right direction, there has been another trial going on behind the scenes. Something neither of us has had control, or even input really. Still we, or more specifically me, bears the brunt of the angst over the matter.
When Mike first took ill back in January, I was in New Zealand. At that time, John and Jodie ended up in a confrontation with one another. A power struggle of sorts as far as I can determine. Jodie was convenient for Mike to reach out to when he needed help. She was there in town. He went to her place and asked her to take him to the hospital. That's where it all started...each felt the other was/wasn't doing what they should or communicating as well as they should. Hateful things were said. One to another, one about another. There is history with them, and things got much worse. I got a call in New Zealand from one of them demanding that I make the other apologize. What? You two need to work this out and not involve me, but no; it can't go down that smoothly.
Instead, at different times I get to hear it, YOU didn't make that apology happen. But, I can't make someone else do something. Doesn't matter. YOU must do that or else.
Within days of being asked about what had happened, Jodie went off in a tirade and shut off contact with me and wouldn't allow me to have contact with the girls. She went to the school and raised cane again. She did so last year too when she got mad at me over some trivial matter. When Mike and I traveled to Show Low to see his surgeon on May 3rd. she wouldn't let either of us see Mia (TJei was at school) when we went to SJ for mail.
Jodie would call and talk to her dad...I was the outcast during all of this. My heart has broken so many times over all of it. I have been excluded from the girls' dance recitals and all their activities. Mike wouldn't have been able to attend because of his hospitalization but I would have made every effort to attend and to get pictures for sharing with Mike as I retold him of the activities. I am just supposed to overlook having been such an important part of their lives as an actively involved grandmother.
John has found ways to mention, YOU didn't make her apologize, often over the passing months. Again, there is nothing I can do to make someone else do something.
In a casual conversation with Kelly shortly before Ashlee's first birthday celebration, I asked Kelly, "Did you mention the party to Jodie?" Talk about a mistake! I didn't know it at the time...although I did feel like uh, that wasn't a good thing to mention, when Kelly came back with comments about John saying Jodie was not welcome at their house and that John said Jodie had to apologize to her. Then, an even bigger blunder as I said, "I think it's out of line for John to insist on an apology when he isn't willing to apologize for what he said to her."
It's that bad momma in me, I guess. Wanting each of them to take responsibility for what they EACH did and not just blame one another for what happened.
I was in Jacob's vehicle, with him and his two little ones, during this call. After talking with Kelly, my phone rang again. It was John. He wanted to know why I had demanded, through Kelly,for him to apologize to Jodie. That isn't what I said. I told him what I said, "I think John shouldn't insist on an apology when he isn't willing to apologize for what he said." John went off on me. I got louder as I tried to stop him from going off. Jacob was telling me to hang up, his kids didn't need to hear any of that. Jacob took the phone and hung up the call.
John called back and left a voicemail message...a hateful, vicious message telling me that I was not to contact his home and I was not to call or send messages to his wife. ---Let's be perfectly clear here: I have never sent ANY questionable messages to Kelly, or John for that matter. He was just re-emphasising his rant from a while back...the twelve messages I sent during a month had cost him a whopping $1.20 and he had to pay his own bill instead of us paying his bill. ---His way of making a dig at the fact we were doing anything to help someone else in the family.
I was devastated to hear his words, to hear that anger and contempt coming from him. I am still shattered by his words.
When the day came for Ashlee's party, I decided to go to his house in spite of all that had happened. I just figured I'd leave if anything came up. John didn't say a word to me during my visit. Not a single word. I could tell he was not pleased about me being there. Before I left, Kelly gave me a Mother's Day card. I cried. I always cry over something sentimental. This time I cried from the pain. His name was on the card but it was so evident he was not part of the card-giving.
This past Saturday I called John and Kelly. I had made a little photo album of birthday party pictures for Ashlee...like I've done in the past. John answered the phone, "You've called the wrong number." What? Are you serious John, you don't want me calling your home. "That's right, Don't call here."
There just aren't words to describe the pain and anguish.
I hurt so bad.
