Reflecting

The last little bit has been so difficult with one medical situation after another coming up. With all Mike went through last year with illnesses and surgeries we would have hoped we were done with medical woes for a while. That isn't how it has worked out though and we are now months into one challenge after another. The dental issues at the start of the year were easy enough, although terribly expensive, to deal with. The inconvenience of numerous appointments, still not completed, was the hardest part of those particular problems.

My arm has been another story. I fell on the icy stairs and off the porch on February 15th, breaking both the ulna and radius just above the wrist. The pins and vise, my towel rack, were affixed to my arm and hand on February 22nd. I had to go into the hospital and under anesthesia to have my arm set. What a change this has been for all of us!

I have been in pain, serious pain, almost constantly since the moment my arm broke...and it has not eased even with the pain med the doctor has prescribed. The med (hydrocodone) dulls the pain somewhat for short lengths of time but the pain never goes away entirely. Since the 14th of this month, I have battled infections around the pins and that increases the pain in those areas. The pins in my arm were the first to be infected and they seem to have responded to the antibiotics. There hasn't been drainage in that area for several days. The pins in my hand are now under attack, the pain in that area right now is so intense I can hardly stand it! I'll be going to pick-up antibiotics again tomorrow in Show Low.

Mike and I traveled to the Valley a couple times this year so he could visit his cardiologist and a vascular surgeon at the Heart Institute. On the 16th of this month Mike went into Arizona Heart Hospital early in the morning to have two aneurisms in his pelvic area repaired. The procedure went very smoothly and he was released from the hospital the following day. Although sore for several days, he had a small incision at each side of his groin, Mike has recuperated marvelously. We stayed in the Valley on another day after he was released from the hospital then he returned to work the second day!

Yesterday when we picked up mail there was a summary from our insurance carrier. It was three pages long, for just February. The summary included x-rays, ER visits (plural, along with my arm Mike visited the ER because he was sick and in pain), doctor visits, orthopedic surgeon visits, hospital surgery, anesthesiologist services, and other services. I am so grateful, so very grateful, for our insurance coverage! Our own out-of-pocket expenses have been substantial but it could have been so much worse if it weren't for our insurance coverage. I am grateful for his employment and for the insurance he has through his employment.

I am grateful for the mysteries of life that we don't see or understand at the time. The illnesses and surgeries last year brought forth blessings we didn't realize at the time.

I am also tremendously grateful that Mike quit drinking last year when he became sick in January. As difficult as things have been, I know they could have been so much worse if it weren't for him quitting. I am grateful to him for sticking with it, for leaving that behind. I love him so much and I know that he is so much better off without the beer, even though he enjoyed beer and enjoyed the socialization associated with having a few beers at the bar.

Furthermore, I am tremendously grateful that these two aneurisms were identified during the numerous scans done on Mike last year. These type of medical conditions typically are not identified until a person is being autopsied. We were blessed with them being identified so they could be repaired. We have indeed been blessed.

Cold & Windy

It is cold and windy once again this morning. It reminds me that I neglected to celebrate the delightfully warm and pleasant days we've had over the past week or two. A few days ago, even as the sun was setting, the air was so fresh and clear and warm...inviting me to sit on the front stairs and bask in the beauty of the day and evening.

General Conference aired over the weekend. I am so very grateful to have the words and images of church leaders broadcast over the airwaves although someday I would love to be in attendance during a session of conference. That would be one of those bucket list items. :)

The Spirit touched my heart many times during conference. My thoughts drifted to Monika Hall Lowery and her family with their recent tragedy and remarkably not so much on my own loss so long ago as I listened to words of comfort for grieving families. I know that I am finally growing spiritually in acknowledging that others filled my thoughts, my own grief has been so great for so long. My thoughts also turned to the Udall family, especially during Saturday's session, as they gathered to celebrate the life and grieve the passing of their daughter, Camie. So many friends and family carry burdens these days and I pray for words and actions to bring comfort in some small way.

The girls watched part of conference with me. We chose listen words and theirs worked out much better than mine, at least for treats. Mia chose prayer, TJei chose brothers and sisters, and I chose testimony. Their words were said much more frequently. The girls were delighted to see our friend and neighbor, Elder Spencer Wilhelm (Maria's brother) singing in the MTC choir during Saturday's session. I was pretty excited to see him there, too. It was exciting to see Elder David Archuleta (of American Idol fame) in the MTC choir, also. I am always filled with the Spirit when thinking of the missionaries and their love of the Savior and willingness to serve.

I am looking forward to learning more about Sis. Linda Burton's leadership as the new president of the General Relief Society. Sis. Beck has accomplished so much in highlighting the accomplishments and legacy of Relief Society. Daughters in My Kingdom will be embraced by many as we move forward in studying and learning.

John worked up here in SJ for a few days and he was able to visit with Mike at work since he too was working day shift over the weekend. John stopped by the house to say hi after work one day.

All in all it has been a wonderful weekend...I'll just overlook the blustery weather today and not think too much about a dentist visit coming up in less than an hour. :)

Struggling

These past few weeks have been so difficult for me. It is so hard to keep thoughts straight or complete even basic tasks when in constant pain. My heart is certainly softened for those living with dibilitating conditions on a regular basis. I've always been of the opinion that I have a very high pain tolerance level but this injury has gotten the best of me. Especially my hand, where the pins are attached into the bone of my hand. It hurts so very much and the pain doesn't ease up at any time during the day or night.

On a brighter note, a few days ago while shopping in Show Low, a lady stopped me and pointed out her own arm. She had the very same procedure done on her arm and hand. The pins had been removed one week earlier and she had made great progress with moving her wrist and gripping her hand. She still has a way to go but seeing the functionality she had at that point gave me hope for my own recovery.

Still looking at the bright side in all of this...I can scratch my arm when it itches. I'm glad my arm isn't in a cast, that would really have been the pits.