She Said Good-bye

I visited with a friend this evening. Her husband passed away this morning. Doris is holding up well, at least for the time being. Terry has been sick since the start of the year. He and Mike were both in the hospital at the same time for a little while. Terry had surgery earlier this year. He developed MRSA and has fought hard to recover from that terrible infection. He lost his battle. They knew he was getting worse.

They knew the end was drawing near.

They talked together.

They made plans.

She said good-bye.

Now, she must learn to live.

Without him.

My heart breaks for her. My mind tries to go back in time. Back to the battles Mike endured with MRSA. He overcame. He regained his health. He recovered.

I am reminded how very blessed life has been.

Another Departure

Just two short weeks ago Aunt Katie passed away (February 21) and today it is her husband, Uncle Ray that has crossed over. What joy there must be as he is welcomed home by Aunt Kate and also his daughter, Wanda together with other family and friends. The greatest comfort in this news is knowing Uncle Ray will no longer be lost and confused, no longer be alone in his mind with random thoughts and memories. He will know his loved ones, he will know their love. He knows, he is home. RIP Norman Raymond Grigson

Celebration in Heaven

It was so hard to drive to Show Low this morning. Mike had a couple doctor appointments so we left out early this morning. In the quiet as he layed back on the seat, my thoughts kept drifting to the late night call from Aunt Eleanor. Her oldest sister, my Aunt Katie, had passed away. What a heavy heart I've had since hearing the news even though I knew in the days leading up to her passing that she was weaker and weaker and her death would be eminent.

My thoughts have gone to my dear Mother and it is easy to envision her joy as she was reunited with her older sister. I can feel their embraces as they hold one another ...they've been apart so long. Aunt Kate has always been a mother-figure for my own mom; always there to help with whatever need arose. They were so very close and I know Aunt Kate has missed her each day since she left this earth.

I can envision Aunt Kate being reunited with her first love; Uncle Paul. He left so early and she had so many to care for after he left. It was so very hard for her to go on alone with her six young children. Hospice didn't exist back then. She cared for her young children and her dying husband, the love of her life, on her own in their home. It was so good when she found someone to share her life. She took on the responsibility of mothering Uncle Ray's four children just as her own. Their relationship became so tumultuous over the years as Alzheimer's, then undiagnosed, invaded his mind and thought processes. It was so very hard for her to endure all that she endured over so very long. She did endure, for as long as she physically and emotionally could endure. Eventually, Uncle Ray had to go into a care center to have round the clock care and Aunt Kate was alone to face the world.

As her own health worsened, Aunt Kate went to Alabama and lived with Aunt Eleanor for a time. She was there about two years, returning to Toledo last summer when they traveled north for the family reunion. Aunt Eleanor wasn't able to continue caring for Aunt Kate with her increasing medical needs and inability to care for herself. Aunt Kate went into a care center.

My mind's eye is filled with memories of Aunt Kate holding my face in both of her hands, the sparkle in her eyes dancing with joy, as she would pull my head close, face to face with her, and confirm her love for me. There were never half-hearted hugs, never words of endearment without a smile and happiness in her eyes. When Aunt Kate held you close and expressed her love, you *knew* you were loved.

My thoughts go again to the celebration, the brothers she loved so much, her sweet infant granddaughter, Ellie. The thought of her cuddling that sweet baby girl brings a smile to my teary face. Her other grandchildren, one just over a week ago. And, her own mom and dad. I can envision her legs strong and healthy as they carry her into the arms of Grandma and Grandpa.

I love you so much Aunt Kate and there will always be an empty spot, a hurt in my heart, knowing you are not here on this earth any longer. You had a special light and you shared it with so many.

August 17, 1931

February 21, 2011

I am grateful for the love of Heavenly Father and knowledge of the plan of salvation. I am comforted in the knowledge of life everafter. Families can be together forever, in Heavenly Father's plan.

Tender Mercies

It's been a good day. A sad day, too. A friend called this morning. Her mother passed away during the night. It was expected. Maybe not quite this soon but still expected. I am grateful she called me. It has been such a blessing to spend time with her on this special day. I have witnessed tender mercies touching her life on... this day as they have over recent days. I am grateful for the knowledge of Heavenly Father's plan.

Remembering the Smile

Is it the smile? Yes, I'm sure it is. The smile that lights up her face and creates a sparkle in her eyes. The smile that says, "I know you!" when she hasn't seen me for ages...years and years. It's the smile that says, "How are you?" and really means it when she asks about you. The smile that cares, the smile that loves. Aunt Tina's smile. I love you and I'll reflect and remember. I'll mourn and I'll celebrate. It's the smile that will live in my heart always.

I'm so grateful for the atonement of Jesus Christ and the knowledge of His love and mercy. I pray for my Uncle Billy and all of his family that they'll find solace during this difficult time.

Aunt Tina passed away earlier this morning. My heart breaks that Aunt Eleanor and Aunt Kate had not been able to visit her before her passing but I know they will recall and celebrate times they've had together over past years. Especially Aunt Tina and Aunt Eleanor...they are such a hoot when they're around each other! Although separated by miles, they could pick up as if together all the time whenever they were with one another. Aunt Eleanor somewhat filled a void for Aunt Tina after my mom died. They had been such good friends, more like sisters than sisters in-law. I love how she has cared so much for so many. RIP Aunt Tina.

A Cousin's Loss

Aunt Eleanor called me this morning to let me know my cousin's daughter passed away. George and I are the same age and we had been close as younsters, living the same neighborhood and attending the same schools. His daughter Zayann was 31, near the same age as my oldest son, John. Zayann had heart problems and underwent a transplant a couple years back. I know George is having a tough time with her passing but I also know Zayann is in a better place, an easier place. She has a young daughter and I hope and pray she will be able to learn about Heavenly Father's plan sometime during her life so she too will know she'll be with her mom again someday.

Another Uncle

The dreaded call came just a few minnutes ago, another of my uncles have passed away. Z had called just a bit earlier and told me Uncle Alfred had collapsed and was unresponsive at the campground. I knew when my phone rang again and I saw her name on the display that it was time, that she would say the words that are so hard to hear. He was pronounced dead.

I'll write more sometime but not now. Now is the time for quiet reflection.

A Friend Departs

Our long-time friend Larry Trollope has passed away. His daughter Tammy called a couple days ago to update us and let us know her dad was on hospice care at home and wasn't expected to live much longer. Larry and Betty have been friends, although there has always been miles and miles between us, for ever and ever. Larry and Mike worked together in the valley before Mike transferred up here in 1977. When time permitted, we would go to Larry and Betty's place in the valley ... bordering a dairy farm no less. Larry had decided to be a tree farmer. Seriously. Oh my gosh it was always so much fun to spend time with the two of them!

Larry and Betty adored our kids. They were Grandpa Larry and Grandma Betty to the kids when they were young. Jodie loved to make pies with Grandma Betty!

A few years ago Larry suffered a stroke. During his recupe time, Larry ended up having to retire from his job with SRP. The recovery was just too long to keep his position. He busied himself by being creative - welding and making garden art. Betty has cared for him during all this time. Mike & I have visited with them by phone, occassionally visiting at their home. Mike went down for Larry's 60th birthday bash a while back. Betty had thrown a surprise party for him and invited tons of friends. Mike had a great time.

When our friends moved to Apache Junction we visited out there. Larry was so please with the work he had done on the place. They liked living out there. We enjoyed visiting. After Tammy's call the other day, I told Mike spring break was coming up and I wanted to go down and visit Larry and Betty. He wouldn't be able to make the trip because of his work schedule. I wasn't able to go sooner because of TJei's preschool schedule.

I'd contemplated contacting Jacob to see if he could pick up a fruit basket and make a visit to their home but talked myself out of asking him because he is already doing so much to help Quentin.

Now, the call from Vicky, another daughter, to let us know our friend has died. His pains and struggles have ended. I hope his family can find peace in celebrating his life.

Feeling Like it's Threes

Today, it does indeed feel like bad news coming in 3s. I've learned today about two other friends experiencing great hardship and grief and I'd learned of another very serious medical condition a friend is experiencing in just the last couple days.

An older lady in our ward was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. I've always had a special fondness for her and recall warmly the time and attention she would give my children in Primary - especially during that time I wasn't even a member. She always was kind and attentive. Her heart has weakened with age, they're not sure what her cancer treatment plan will be but she will be in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.

Another friend, she had been my VT for a long, long time way back when - I just love her - has been afflicted by a stroke and is not doing very well. She waited in the SL hospital for hours and hours (I heard 48 hours!) without seeing her doctor and her husband finally took her from the hospital and drove her to Phoenix for medical care. I am just heartbroken that she didn't get first rate medical care and saddened that she and her family are enduring these grueling circumstances.

The third friend facing a very difficult situation is especially heartbreaking for me. My friend learned just this morning, when the phone rang about 8:30 this morning as she was walking out the door for church, that her son had died yesterday in a hang gliding accident on Mingus Mountain. I am so grateful to have had all the hours together she and I have shared while serving others. We've had many talks - I know that she will find a way to draw upon her loving testimony of the Plan of Salvation to find peace through her grief.

I'm reminded of the words and sentiment of a song I heard at the end of a TV show recently. My sister, the Sassy One, has recently started collecting angels and I located the lyrics to send to her a few days ago.

We're trying, we're hoping

We're loving and we're hurting

We're crying, we're calling

'Cause we're not sure how this goes

~Calling all Angels~

I love these friends dearly. They and their families will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Long Days

I am so glad Jacob was able to come up for Loretta Crosby's funeral. It was so good to visit with him for a while last night. I'm sure he didn't appreciate too much that I started dozing off while we were talking. It's been a couple of long days.

Today was a long day, too. Today was Loretta Crosby's funeral. There were a lot of people in attendance, and a lot of food. The RS Sisters put in a long day, some will still be working away long after this post is made. Thank you Terry J for doing the table cloths! There were dozens and dozens of sisters who helped with food and preparations for the funeral and luncheon. It still amazes me that so many come together and work so hard to make things go smoothly for the family on such a difficult day. I am so proud of the ladies in our ward. They really are jewels.

It was hard seeing Loretta in a casket although she looked amazingly at peace. She had just a hint of a smile. I know that my friend has started a new journey - a journey she has been looking forward to taking. I'm just a bit sad that she's already gone. I'll miss her.

Jacob has headed home. I'll miss him, too.

Tribute to Wanda

It's always hard receiving news of someone's passing and it's especially hard when there has been long lapses between visits with that person. My cousin Wanda (Wanda Lorene (Grigson) Sattler) passed away May 27th. I haven't seen Wanda in a long, long time. I think maybe the last time I saw her was when I traveled to Ohio after my sister's accident. Wanda came to the hospital room and visited with me for hours. We had such a good time visiting and hearing about one another's families.

Wanda was a hillbilly, a southern gal. It didn't matter that she did most of growing up in the same town, same neighborhoods, often same schools that I did. She was a hillbilly, I just loved that southern drawl. Wanda was one of those hillbillys who can bring a smile and warm feeling just by being around. She had wit and humor and was able to laugh at some of the silly things people do quite unintentially. Wanda loved being a hillbilly, a gal with a drawl and appreciation of simple things - the things many of us take for granted.

It's sad. I'm going to miss getting updates on her and her family when Aunt Kate and I talk. I hope her family; husband, three daughters, grandchildren and siblings will be able to reflect on time they've had with her and realize there's a smile on their faces remembering what a sweet person she was.

Journeys of Friends

It has been an unusual day. During the course of the last few hours I've learned two friends have passed away and another friend received word on her mission call although the actual paperwork for her mission call was lost in the mail. Isn't that just every prospective missionary's worry, that the paperwork would get lost in the mail? Well, that's just what happened to my friend Claudene Postert. Claudene had submitted her request and our stake president had encouraged her to be "watching the mail" about May 1st or 2nd. Well, the first and second came and went, a long time ago. Finally, the stake president called SLC and learned the post office in SJ had returned the mission call paperwork. It had been sent to a street address instead of a postal address. Claudene enters the MTC June 2 and she will be serving in Halifax, Nova Scotia (Canada). She doesn't really know any of the specifics just yet, that pesky paperwork problem - just when she goes in and where she'll be going. She doesn't even know for how long just yet. Talk about faith!

Another friend, Jeanne Mangum, has taken a journey. Hers will be for a much longer time. Jeanne had been in Scottsdale being treated for complications of diabetes and she fell and broke her hip last week. She passed away Monday evening. Jeanne and I became good friends during our trips to and from Show Low for her dialysis treatment. I would drive her over using her vehicle (she insisted) and would wait for her to complete the treatment then, if she was feeling up to it, we would get lunch and return home. Most times in recent months, Jeanne wasn't feeling up to having lunch so I would surprise her with take-out that she would bring home to share with her husband and son, Aaron. My kids will likely know Jeanne because of Aaron. Jeanne has been the primary care provider for her severely disabled son over all these years. Aaron is about John's age. Sadly, he will probably have to go into a care facility now because his dad wouldn't possibly be able to care for him alone.

Even though she'll have such short time to prepare for her mission, Claudene is sure the paperwork mix-up had a purpose. Claudene has gone the extra mile to provide service to Jeanne and her family. She has been an amazing friend and charitable Saint over these years the two women have lived across from one another. Claudene is sure the timing was just as it should be. Jeanne passed away on Monday evening, she learned of her mission call on Tuesday. Her good friend's funeral service will be on Saturday May 24th and her mission farewell will be Sunday May 25th. I'd tend to agree with Claudene, the timing has purpose.

I learned of the passing of another friend, too. On Monday I had visited with Sandy Finstad and we spent a little bit of time together reminiscing. I had asked about her husband, Dan. Dan and I had worked together for a long time at the water treatment area of the power plant. He was a fun, down to earth man and always respectful. He was loud and robust, it was easy to tell he spent a good deal of times outdoors, with animals, especially horses. He and Sandy broke and trained horses. Sandy had told me Dan wasn't doing well, not well at all. When I came home I had told Mike about our conversation and it was in the back of my mind that I should go up and visit. I didn't get the visit done. Dan passed away last evening. I know many will miss his laugh and that sparkle he had in his eyes when he was plotting the next rattlesnake round-up or something similarly mischevious.

Yesterday, I had also learned that the father of another friend had passed away. Rhonda Stradling's (all the kids know her, hygenist at dentist office) dad passed away Tuesday morning in the valley. I don't know any of the specifics but I do know Rhonda was very close to her dad. It will be a difficult time for her.

Aunt Marlene

Aunt Marlene was my mom's sister-in-law. She is married to my mom's brother, Uncle Alfred. While I didn't know her as well as many other of my aunts and uncles, Aunt Marlene has always been part of my life. She passed away earlier today after a very long battle with throat cancer. Aunt Marlene had a trach done several years ago and it was a real shock to me the first time I visited with her and heard her efforts to talk with that tube attached to her neck. Eventually she was able to communicate much better although she still struggled to get the sounds out in the correct sequence. She has had many struggles over the years. For now, the struggle of day to day life is removed. Aunt Marlene passed away earlier today. I know she is in a better place and doesn't have to struggle to communicate. My prayers are with her family.

Ann's Passing

Mike and I got a call from Alice (Pat and Alice) on Saturday while at the campground. Ann passed away the day before, March 14th. Her funeral will be on Wednesday morning. Mike and I will travel back to the valley for the funeral.

Ann was a special lady, a choice spirit. I am so glad to have known her.

Catching Up
It Won't Be Too Long

Passing of a Prophet

There really aren't words. It is a sad day, but also a hopeful day. President Gordon B. Hinckley passed away last evening. His passing was peaceful and his family was at his bedside. He has been such an inspiration to so very many. His calm, confident and reassuring demeanor has led us through so many tumultuous times in these recent years - the terrorist attacks of 9/11, our nation's involvement in different wars, devastating earthquakes in all corners of the world, a horrific Tsunami that killed multiple thousands, hurricanes that ravaged our coasts, wildfires and many other acts of nature or man. Always, he propped us up. He restored our confidence in mankind and he led us ... led us to seek knowledge of the Savior Jesus Christ through scripture, prayer, and study. And, he led us to direct our time, energy and resources into helping others through humanitarian efforts and good works. He has been strength and inspiration for many. I am so grateful to have heard his words and read his messages. I am grateful for the lessons he has taught and the life he has led. The words have never held such meaning before, We Thank Thee, O God, for a Prophet.

Saying Goodbye

In looking through my pictures, this image seems to capture a special moment as Diane and Billie reach out to gather a flower for that one last remembrance of their grandfather. Angie stayed close to her mom and offered support and Aunt Ruth lovingly caressed the casket of her last brother as she said farewell.

My Amazing Family

Over recent days I have been so terribly proud of my kids and their ability to pull together during difficult times. They have been tremendous strength for their dad as we've gone about the difficult tasks of a funeral and burial. John stayed close to his dad to provide assistance in whatever way was needed. He looked both solemn and dashing in the new suit he wore for the funeral. Other than his wedding tux, I believe this may be the first time I've seen John in a suit since his return from his mission.

Although a very emotional occasion, the boys did a wonderful job of helping throughout the funeral and greeting and visiting with family and friends of their grandfather. Jacob spoke during the funeral on the Plan of Salvation. Quentin offered the closing prayer for the gathering and John drew upon his priesthood authority to dedicate the final resting place for his grandfather.

Jodie, Maria, and Kelly joined with other granddaughters Diane, Billie and Jessye to sing "Families Can Be Together Forever" during the funeral service. Little 8 year old Jessye started off good, for the first word or two. She then sobbed her way through the song and everyone seeing her struggle to be strong were touched by the Spirit in such a special way. I'm not sure if Jessye understood why she was so sad, she just knew she was.

The boys stayed, along with the other two young grandsons, to witness closing of the grave at the cemetary while the rest of the family gathered at Carol's place for a luncheon and visiting in the backyard.

I know their grandfather was pleased ... Scotty always enjoyed a big family get-together.

Sleep Through Anything

When Mike got up and moving about this morning he started trying to call his dad. After a couple hours and no answer, he tried contacting other people in the area so he could make contact with his dad. There had been winter storms in the area of Cottonwood recently and we knew from experience that the phone lines were a problem in blowing wind or snow storms. The phone goes out and Scotty doesn't necessarily notice until he tries to make an outgoing call.

We hadn't been able to reach Scotty's good friend, Mel Huber, and we later learned Mel had been in Utah visiting family. Mike called his brother Gail and asked whether he'd be able to go by the house and check on their dad. Gail has been working in Bullhead City, Arizona and was in the Ash Fork area on his way home to Camp Verde for the weekend. He told Mike he'd be able to stop if Mike hadn't reached Scotty by the time Gail would need to turn off to Cottonwood. Mike continued trying to reach his dad.

Gail called again to check whether we'd been able to reach Scotty and he decided to turn off for Cottonwood instead of going into Camp Verde right away. Mike had already left for work when Gail called with the news, their dad was gone. Scotty had passed away. When he called me, Mike was making arrangements to take time off from work and he'd be returning back home to get things squared away so we could head to Cottonwood.

By all indications, Scotty may have passed into the next life during the evening of Wednesday, December 12th. His official death date will be the date he was pronounced, December 14th. He was in his recliner and the television was on. Scotty watched TV in the evenings but not during the day. There were two newspapers in the front yard, Thursday and Friday's papers. Scotty was an avid reader of the newspaper and would read it page for page. Once he was done reading the paper, he'd fold it back up and deliver it up the road to his neighbor Larry. We arrived Saturday and Mike spent the afternoon with his siblings. We stayed at Scotty's house that night. When Mike started to make a pot of coffee on Sunday morning, he realized his dad had cleaned the pot and set it up to start coffee the next morning (Thursday). There was fresh grounds and half a tank of water in the maker.

There was no indication Scotty had been in pain of any kind. He was just relaxed in his chair, his arms weren't pulled up like chest pain or anything. In fact, he looked so content and rested that law enforcement officers who had arrived on the scene when Gail contacted them to report the death didn't seem to be terribly surprised by the note left by the housekeeper who visits on Thursdays:

"Mr. Boyle, if you can sleep through me cleaning, you can sleep through anything!"

Remembering Anthony

Today is the anniversary of my youngest brother's death. Anthony turned 25 on November 1, 1988 and he died on November 26th. He lives on in my heart. I still miss him bunches.